Down

After a few days of feeling a little reliefe from this saga called my life, I am feeling down today. Sad. Hopless. Scared. Confused. I just pray and pray and pray and pray. I am longing for some sort of comfort. Some sort of soothing words or actions. I am just so tired and so weary. I don't know just how much longer I can go on. I want to fight and keep this up, but I am human and I need a supernatural strength to give me the push I need.

The other night my husband said that sometimes things just don't turn out the way you want. I asked him what he meant by that statement and he refered to his mom's cancer. She is cancer free now, but still has issues from the treatment and surgury. It feels as if he wants to punish me for what is going on with his mom. Like he knows what to do to correct the situation, but doesn't want to just so things don't turn out like everyone wants it to turn out. He has the power and knowledge of what to do, but refuses to do anything about it.

Needing something to hope for...