What Does It Look Like?

Pain? Agony? Suffering? This pain that I feel is much different than that of cancer or Alzheimer's or lupus. What does this type of pain that I am feeling look like? What does it feel like? What does it sound like? What does it smell like? I have compiled a list of words that can only begin to describe the thoughts and feelings I have been suffering through on a regular basis. These are only words, but many of them describe the depths of my soul and the deepest darkest time of my life...

Abandoned
Afraid
Agonizing
Agony
Alarmed
Alone
Anxious
Appalled
Apprehensive
Astonished
Astounded
Atrocious
Awful
Bad
Baffled
Bare
Beaten
Befuddled
Bemuse
Beside myself
Bewildered
Black
Blank
Bleak
Bothered
Bowled over
Broken
Cast off
Cheerless
Concerned
Confused
Crushed
Cut-off
Dark
Dazed
Dead
Defeated
Defenseless
Delicate
Dependent
Depressed
Derelict
Deserted
Desolate
Desperate
Dirty
Disastrous
Discarded
Disheartened
Disregarded
Distracted
Distraught
Disturbed
Downward
Drab
Dreadful
Dreary
Drowned
Dumped
Emaciated
Empty
Excruciating
Fearful
Feeble
Forlorn
Forsaken
Foul
Frail
Fretful
Frightened
Frightful
Frozen
Gloomy
Grief stricken
Grimy
Heart rendering
Heartbreaking
Heart-sick
Helpless
Hollow
Hopeless
Horrible
Horrific
Horrified
Ignored
Ill-fated
Immobilized
Incapable
Insignificant
Insurmountable
Isolated
Jumpy
Lifeless
Lonely
Lost
Low
Meager
Miserable
Mistreated
Mournful
Mystified
Neglected
Nervous
Old
Overcome
Pain
Painful
Panicky
Paralyzed
Perplexed
Polluted
Poor
Powerless
Puzzled
Refuse
Rejected
Rubbish
Sad
Second hand
Shady
Shallow
Shocked
Soiled
Somber
Startled
Stunned
Sunken
Superfluous
Tear-jerking
Terrible
Terrified
Thrown
Toothless
Tragic
Trampled
Trash
Troubled
Unable
Unaided
Unbearable
Uncared for
Undeserved
Uneasy
Unfortunate
Unfulfilled
Unguarded
Unhappy
Unloved
Unlucky
Unmerited
Unneeded
Unnoticed
Unpromising
Unprotected
Unprovoked
Unwanted
Unwarranted
Upsetting
Used
Vacant
Valueless
Vulnerable
Wasted
Weak
Withered
Woeful
Wordless
Worried
Worthless