The Possibility

At one point in time during this situation with my husband he stated that with his new "girlfriend" he could now see possibility in life. First of all, WTF? I worked very hard to keep our life together, funded and stable. I am so sorry that we weren't millionaires and we couldn't travel the world on our small salaries, but not many people in this world can actually live out their wildest fantasies. It's just not possible. I "thought" we were both on the same page by getting out of debt and then focusing on living the "life" debt free. Evidently not.

Last night I was thinking this through and I finally, for the first time, could see the possibility of life without my husband as my husband. It is possible and that thought was very reassuring. Thinking about his actions and words, I came to realize that he was the one person who has really made me feel worthless and like a nobody. Do you know how incredibly painful that is? To feel like you aren't even worth the air you breath to someone who you have poured your entire self into? Proverbs 31:10 says it like this:

"A good woman is hard to find,

and worth far more than diamonds."

I know I was and still am a great and wonderful wife and woman. But over the past 2-1/2 months my own husband has made me feel so worthless and useless to him. But I am done feeling that way. God knows that I am a wonderful wife and that I did so much for my husband. I loved him, honored him, cherished him, respected him, obeyed him. I know I was a great wife and that even though he thinks he has found a new "girlfriend," she will never be me and my husband will start to miss that. I don't know when or how, but sooner or later he will realize the errors of his ways and come to grips with the fact that I am worth so much more than rubies and diamonds... I am priceless.