Can't Concentrate

I am starting to get sick with a head cold and so I am really not feeling well right now. Just weak and no energy and a runny nose... ugh!

Of course I am constantly thinking about my hubby and where he is and what he is thinking at this moment. Is he happy that I cut him off? Is he reflecting on his actions and what lead to this? Is he said? Depressed? Elated? Stressed? Angry? Indifferent? I wish I knew. I pray that his mind is filled with thoughts of me and our life together. I pray that he can't get comfortable in this new life he is leading. I pray for a clear mind and that God would reconnect his mind to his heart so that he can feel again.

Is this really the life he wants? To know that he cheated on his lovely wife? To know that he once was happy and now he is just numb? To know that he is letting the best wife, friends and family slip right through his fingers? To know that in one day he has lost so much? It this really what he wants out of life? Does he really think that he can take her home to meet his parents and his family? Does he really think that everyone is just going to accept her and his actions against me? I don't deserve this. I know I don't. I was good to him. I wasn't perfect. I have my own flaws, but overall, I know that I was a good wife to him and that he was happy with me and out marriage. It was only when she came into the picture did he completely flip-flop and begin to question everything that meant something to him. What kind of person is she for putting those thoughts into his head. But what kind of person is he if willing accepts it? Weak... a weak person who wants everyone to accept him and love him and be his friend. He wants to be where all of the fun and excitement is no matter what it looks like. Unfortunately, he is a follower. Wants to be liked by all will do crazy things to get them to like him. This was and has been apparent ever since he was a little boy. I feel sorry for him wanting to be accepted so badly that at the moment he has thrown everything away. That makes me sad...