Free

Yesterday I had this sense of freedom that I hadn't felt before. The feeling was more of a freedom that is being physically free. I felt free and able to do whatever I want, whenever I want. I am an adult and at this moment I don't have anyone to answer to. No husband, no kids. It's just me and I can come and go as I please and watch what I want to watch on TV and go to bed when I want to go to bed and eat what I want to. For the first time in 10 years I really started to feel what it felt like to take of myself. In the past, I would say that 95% of the time I bent over backwards for my husband to ensure that he was getting what he needed and wanted. I know that I did whatever it took to support him and encourage him and to help him excel. I know I did. No one can tell me different. And during this time, people have advised me to just take care of myself and do what is best for me. Well, I think I finally know what that feels like and how to do it. I mean, sure this feeling comes and goes. But when it's here I have peace and calmness that is just remarkable. I feel free and that is a priceless feeling.

I am so grateful for everything the Lord has been showing me and waking me each morning and helping me get through each day. He is so worthy to be praised! I just stand in awe of His glory and it is so wonderful to be in His presence. I am so grateful...