It's Not By Might

Early on in this life situation, I realized that there wasn't much I could do to show my husband the fact that this all hit me from out of nowhere. I couldn't say enough and I couldn't do enough to shed light on the very fact that I didn't know he was feeling the way he was feeling. There was and still is nothing I can do. Nothing. That is a very helpless feeling and a terrible one at that. This morning I was praying (of course) and feeling completely helpless as usual and then I remembered this scripture:

Zechariah 4:6
'Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,' says the LORD Almighty.

It's not by my might or power, but by His. He can do it and I need to just let him do so.

Still Amazed

I tend to go on a roller coaster with my emotions. Up and down all day long and it can be very tiring. Well, I was just having a down moment and was just asking God to be here with me and to just take away some of my sadness. I asked him to just be with me. I had to go back to the fax machine here at work and there was a mug back on the sink with the passage Zephaniah 3:17 written on it and I came back to my computer and as I was sitting here talking to God I told him I just want to delight Him and make Him happy with my actions and reactions. And then I looked up the scripture and here is what it says:

Zephaniah 3:17 (New International Version)
17 The LORD your God is with you,
he is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you,
he will quiet you with his love,
he will rejoice over you with singing.

Can you believe that!?! Right there! Two of my most recent prayers addressed in one scripture. I just sat back in amazement. I am in awe...

Thank you, Lord...

Fiery Furnace

This morning in my quiet time I read Daniel 3 about Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego and the fiery furnace. A few days ago this story came across my mind and quickly left as I didn't know where to find it in the Bible and I forgot about it. But at the time I remember thinking about having faith and how those boys really took more like a gigantic leap into the faith world when faced with the reality of being put into a furnace. Well, this morning I read the story and it hit home of course! I feel like I have been in a fiery furnace for the past 5 months and it just keeps getting hotter and hotter! What did it feel like to completely put your physical life into God's hands? I mean, here I am putting my marriage in God's hands and I commit my life into God's hands, but I don't feel an immediate threat of losing my life like they did. And at the same time they were SO confident of God and his power. They knew God was able to save them - beyond a shadow of a doubt. Where does that kind of faith come from? Can't I just take a pill and automatically be filled with that measure of faith? And, not only did they have that faith, but he met them right there in the fire! Wow... I want that! Sure I get the metaphor "God is with us wherever we go." But I want more. I want to see more of him! I want more, more, more!

I am going through a very tough and hot fire right now and I know He is with me. I know it. There are just some times where I feel alone. I know He is here, but I am human and can't always see past my own emotions. And I also crave that kind of faith. I want it so bad! To just be able to speak something and know it and believe it. It's like I have to constantly tell myself that I believe it. I don't really feel it in my head or my heart and so I have to remind myself over and over who He is and who I am and that He is able. He is able and He is with me always even in the fiery furnace.